Freudian Slip
by pitchpearlgirl
Summary: Sequel to Something Wicked This Way Comes. The nightmares return.
1. Chapter 1

i decided to continue this? bc i hate myself thats why

* * *

 _From the Personal Journal of Dr. Henry Jekyll, February 2, 18-_

 _I worry for my wellbeing, and the wellbeing of those around me._

 _It has been some years since the incident with Hyde was concluded and his essence was, presumably, wiped from existence. Life has been grand; my job has flourished, as has my social life. Mr. Utterson and I have re-written my will, leaving most of my belongings in the safe care of my dear friend Mr. Lanyon in the case of my sudden and untimely demise. And speaking of Lanyon, he and I are on far better terms than we have been in almost a decade, since I started my work on the subconscious mind, or rather, my own mind. We meet up every now and again to talk, and have such wonderful dinners together every Friday eve._

 _But it is not to last, or at least, not to last in such a good mood._

 _The nightmares have returned, and with them, an omnipresent sense of dread percolates my everyday life. I don't remember them upon waking, but their presence at night terrifies me, leaving me with phantom pains and an echo of otherworldly laughter that haunts me throughout the day. I find sleep harder to come by, with that knowledge hanging over my shoulder, waiting me when my eyes close._

 _And another thing, which bothers me so- I have had the strangest urges lately, that worry me. Violent urges, ones that whisper in my ear to do harm to another when my mood is beaten down from a night of restless sleep. These salacious utterings horrify me and I immediately put them out of mind when they appear, but like the nightmares, they await me again when I have a moment and unwillingly think back._

 _I have tried medicine for sleep and thoughts both, and when those didn't have the desired effect, I made my own to the same results. It is frustrating, knowing there is a problem with no solution, or one just out of my sight._

 _I do not know what this means, any of this, but I can do nothing but agonize about it until a solution presents itself._

 _Until then, I will continue to keep in contact with Lanyon, and hope._


	2. Chapter 2

blah

* * *

"Come now, old chap, aren't you feeling lonely?" asked Dr. Hastie Lanyon, bite of bread halfway to his mouth and a confused expression on his features.

I sighed for the umpteenth time and shook my head. "I told you, I am fine. I have no need for human companionship in that way, nor do I want for it. Not every man requires a wife to survive."

My friend sighed, a mirror to mine, and set the bread down before clasping my arm across the dinner table. I almost flinched away, but reigned in the out of place impulse. "Surely," he said, "surely you have just not yet found her yet? That special lady, who makes your heart go a-flutter, for whom you would fight Heaven and Hell to protect? Surely that is the reason for your distaste of the idea?"

I shrugged off his hand, irritation spiking into anger. Our argument had gone on and on, both tonight and in the past few weeks, and the constancy of it was grating on my nerves. "No, I have not met her, nor do I plan to. I will say it again, 'till the ends of the earth: I am _fine_ by myself."

"Well perhaps I should introduce you to some people, then," Lanyon said, resuming his meal and speaking between bites. "Lady Victoria down the street has had quite the pretty eye on you since supper last month. She is nice enough, with a base interest in chemistry. A perfect match for you, my friend. Or perhaps if she is not to your liking, we could chat with Miss Evangeline, the widow downstairs from her? She has finished her required mourning and is looking for a new husband."

As he continued listing off women he knew, my hand clenched tighter and tighter around my fork. My food lay almost untouched, the conversation having started early, now lasting far too long. The delicate metal dug into my hand, no doubt leaving marks, and I struggled not to let the grinding of my teeth become audible.

Finally, I slammed my hand down, the fork embedding itself in the table a millimeter from Lanyon's resting hand. He jerked it back, shocked.

"Would you please _stop talking!"_ I shouted, hands shaking with the force of my anger. My vision was red-tinted. I turned to him, and the look in my eyes made him flinch away, terrified.

"H-Henry?" he asked, his voice shaking. "C-Calm down, there's no need to-"

"Obviously there _is_ ," I growled, standing slowly, until I was towering over my friend, "as I have told you countless times to _let it drop_ but you refuse to!"

My hand shot out, grabbing ahold of his lapels before he could escape. I brought him closer, until we were but a hair's breadth apart, and hissed in his face "I do not need a 'lady friend' to keep me company, and by _God_ if I have to beat this into your head by the night's end then I will."

The fury racing through my veins blocked all other thoughts, except that of _get him to understand._ But finally, something resembling sense seemed to break through the reddened barrier in my mind, when I looked into Lanyon's horrified eyes and saw a fear of sudden death. I dropped him with a gasp.

"Hastie, I-"

"Henry, is-"

We stopped, both our breaths labored. A tense moment surrounded us, unspoken words fearing the worst.

Lanyon tried again, voice thick with fear. "Henry, are you sure you are alright? You seem much more like…"

He trailed off, and I finished his thought. "Hyde," I whispered. "No, It cannot be. I am simply… going through some things. I will be fine. I apologize for my lapse of judgement, that almost led to the harm of your person. It will not happen again." He nodded, mute.

My voice was as hollow as my heart, as the night wore on. We finished our dinner in absolute silence, quickly, and without incident. My dear friend made his departure soon after, without another word, for which I was eternally grateful.

As soon as the plates were cleared, I retired for the night, exhaustion pulling at my eyelids with a force greater than my willpower. I resigned myself to another restless night of sleep, and turned in.

My eyes had barely closed when the nightmares began.

Darkness, thick and viscous, crowded my senses. It tore at my clothes, my arms, my very soul, shredding it and my psyche worse than anything ever felt before. The pain it brought on was deeper than physical, broader than emotional, was something so horrifying it pained me in a way I couldn't describe.

I screamed with lips blackened from the dark fire that raged around me suddenly, obsidian flames slicing me in dozens of places with their razor-sharp edges. Blood ran in rivulets down my skin, my face burning from a hundred tiny cuts that sizzled from the heat but I still couldn't see, couldn't see anything around me but various shades of black and black and black.

Arms wrenched out of sockets, bones grinded and fractured and everything came together again only to fall apart a moment later, the mind numbing pain the only thing on my mind aside the darkness that sucked at my soul, draining my will to live and _God, why won't it end, why can't I have peace?_

A light shined through the darkness, a familiar light so sudden it blinded me a moment. I gasped, reaching out with wrists bound by slithering tentacles of hissing, spitting darkness. They tugged me back, obscuring my vision, but I noticed enough to see the light was flickering. Struggling. The black was fighting it as well, and the winner was unclear.

Some part of it broke free, sprinting at me. The light got closer and I saw it was Joseph, my dear friend and separated super-ego from ages ago. But he was supposed to be gone, as part of me as the accursed id was, absorbed into my soul once more. Why was he here?

"Joseph!" I cried out, the pain from the writhing blackness squeezing me, tightening its hold on my spirit. "What-"

He got to me a moment before the black got to him, catching him up and crushing his light. But before that happened, a split second before, he grabbed my face in his hands and pressed our foreheads together. With that brief moment of contact, he passed on a message that had me waking in a cold sweat.

" _He's back."_


	3. Chapter 3

i dont like how this one starts but whatever

tbh i was imagining a 'confrontation' style thing going on and i tried to convey that but idk

* * *

I seeked out Mr. Poole, my dear friend and butler, and when I found him I caught him by the arm. "I am to be in the laboratory, if anything happens," I said. "Make sure no one bothers me, 'till I come out." He nodded, a grave glint to his eye, and left to pass on the word to the other house staff that were just waking up for the morning.

I locked myself in the little cabinet, drawing the curtains and lighting a lamp. My old chemistry equipment was gathering dust, beakers and vials with a thick layer of the stuff on the shelves. I had made sure to clean any last chemicals up before abandoning the place, but there were still stains and marks on the tables and floors, from many a mishap in the past.

I began mixing, cleaning the old equipment and lighting fires, pulling out old chemicals and stirring them in water and each other. I had no idea what my wanted result was; something to rid myself of these nightmares, these violent urges, this part of me that brought it all on and thought the worst of me was prime. I mirrored my old ways, my old experiments, but with the goal to instead eradicate that part of me, rather than separate him.

I wasn't to make that mistake again.

None of my tries were successful, however, which grated on my nerves and made me want to scream. I drank potion after potion, looking for something, anything to end my pain and rip away that part of me I hated so before he came back. But not just tear out, destroy. He needed to be _gone_. But nothing worked, and that hatred inside me only seemed to grow with each failed test.

After the umpteenth try, my rage boiled over quick and hard. I swept a hand across the table, sending beakers smashing to the ground, bits of liquid seeping out the broken glass onto the hardwood flooring. They bubbled and hissed, staining the wood, but doing no more damage than a particularly strong wine.

I shouted, anger making my voice hoarse. I stomped on the glass, clawed at the table, and fell to my knees on the shard-strewn floor.

My hands seized up, a tingling sensation spreading up my limbs to my chest, down my legs, encompassing me in a simultaneously freezing and burning feeling and making my muscles tense, my bones rigid. I strained, struggling to move, but I was stuck in a crouched position on the floor.

My hand shot out without my permission, clamping onto the edge of the table. I felt the muscles in my legs work against me, pushing me to my feet, and with sudden clarity I felt a foreign but horribly familiar presence in my mind.

"My my my, I wonder what we have here." My mouth spoke, the words forming on their own, but the voice coming past my lips not my own. It was a surreal experience, and I fought to regain control over my body, but it was for naught. That burning-freezing sensation had taken ahold of me, the presence in my mind having complete and utter control.

 _Hyde_ , I growled in our shared mind.

"Congratulations!" he said aloud. "You guessed it, but sadly there is no prize for winning. Just me. Alas, I am prize enough, aren't I?"

 _You miserable, despicable little bi-_

"Ah, ah, ah," he tutted, cutting me off. "Language, dear doctor. Mind your language."

 _To hell with you!_

He harrumphed and crossed his arms in mock disappointment. "Now, that's no way to treat an old friend," he said, a malicious grin splitting his face.

 _You are no friend of mine,_ I hissed.

"Oh, but we know each other so _intimately_ ," Hyde sighed, running a hand down his- _my_ face. "After all, you are my creator. You are _me_."

 _I am not you, I never have been, and I never will be!_ I shouted suddenly, fighting against his iron-hard will to take over my body. I managed, halfway, and clawed at the table as our legs gave out. My- his other hand clamped down on my wrist as it reached for a vial of liquid, knocking it over and spilling the contents across the table. I jumped back, my legs suddenly working again, but I lost control on the one arm I had. My face twisted in agony as two persons tried to control the features, pulling muscles in directions they shouldn't go, straining hard against each other, tearing fragile ligaments in various limbs as we fought. A hand shot out, clawing at my face, tearing into my lip.

I shouted, audibly, as a burning pain shot up my thigh. Looking down, I saw that Hyde had snatched a knife from the nearest table as I struggled to keep us standing, to keep us from running into things in our mad struggle for dominance, and had stabbed the knife into my flesh.

Hyde stole control over our mouth and spat "There, that'll teach you to cross me again, you filthy little-"

 _Language,_ I growled, mirroring his taunt from earlier. I had shown him what I needed, and even though I was now powerless in the confines of my own body, he having gained total control again, I had shown I wasn't without fight in me.

He laughed, a grating sound that I could feel tear at my vocal chords, and swiped at the blood dripping down our lip from the cut inflicted earlier. The wound on our thigh was much worse, blood staining the wooden floor beneath us, but he seemed unconcerned with that.

"This was mighty fun, dear, but I have things to do and I am sure you do too." He stretched, pulling muscles in my abdomen far beyond where they should stretch. "Don't think this is over, though," he added, baring his teeth in the broken mirror along the wall, smashed years ago in a similar struggle for control. His fractured grin sent chills down my spine, his dark eyes split into a million evil flashes.

" _I'll be back before you know it."_

With that, I collapsed on the ground, slamming my head on the hardwood floor, and was out like a light.


	4. Chapter 4

two in one day wow

* * *

That was the last night of restful sleep I had for weeks. After waking and bandaging my injured leg, I set off for the city library, checking out a stack of books on the mind and chemistry. Most were books I had already read, but I needed all the refreshers and information I could get. I had no plan, nothing to go on, but I had a need.

I needed to be rid of Hyde, once and for all.

I had thought I was rid of him all those years ago, with our confrontation in the London that never was. I had thought I eliminated him, erased him from existence, as easily as the destruction he had wrought was erased. But apparently I had failed, as he was back and tormenting me once again.

He didn't show up again in the weeks of research I did, but the fear that he was just around the corner kept me up at night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his horrifying, grinning face, and I knew that if I slipped up, he would be there to take control of me and make me commit horrors beyond imagining. So I stayed up, instead, reading and re-reading and taking note of everything I read, everything I knew, in the hopes that something would come to me, some solution to end this problem once and for all.

But nothing came, and as the days turned into weeks turned into a month of isolation, my friends began to worry. First Mr. Utterson, dear man, tried to pass a message along to Poole that they were beginning to feel concern for my wellbeing. I sent message back that all was well, I had just hit a moment of inspiration and was working, and not to worry. He did not return message, though I feel he did not believe me.

Next came Dr. Lanyon, directly to my abode. I had Poole turn him away at the door the first few times, with note that I was busy and was to have no visitors, but it only worked so many times before he demanded to see me. I sighed when Poole brought the news to my door, but allowed Lanyon to come to my laboratory, if only to speak through the door.

"And why can't I see you?" Lanyon demanded, as soon as he came to the door. I stood on the other side, my head leaning against the wood, trying not to fall asleep where I stood. I had gone so long with so little sleep, it was to be expected.

"I do not look the part of a good doctor right now," I explained. "I do not wish you to see me in this state."

"Is it Hyde?" Lanyon asked.

I chuckled softly. "Ever to the point you are, dear Hastie."

"Henry, if Hyde is bothering you again after so long being dormant, we need to do something about it," he insisted. "We can't have a repeat of last time."

I laughed aloud this time, as he had no idea how extensive the damage from last time was. But I kept my mouth shut, instead saying "That is what I am trying to do, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do. Everything I try is without results, and nothing about the human mind I can discover is any help at all. It is beyond frustrating, not knowing how to get rid of this demon inside me, not knowing how to tear him out in such a way he can never return."

There was silence from the other side of the door. I slid down, sitting on the ground, leaning against it, the energy in me keeping me up now gone. I wiped away frustrated tears that had began to form, and waited.

"What if you're going about this wrong," came a whisper from behind the door.

I sat up, confused. "How do you mean?"

"You speak of how every man has both good and evil inside him," Lanyon said, seeming to hesitate with every phrase, as if he didn't like what he was saying but it needed to be said. "You go on and on about the fundamental parts of our beings, yet you try to be rid of one of yours. No matter how unpleasant it is having Hyde as part of you, what if that is how it must be?"

"What?" I asked, though I was beginning to see the picture. I wasn't liking it.

"What if… What if you must embrace Hyde as part of you, to have him stop tormenting you?" Lanyon guessed. "What if this constant struggling to remove a part of you is what made him malevolent in the first place?"

"And by accepting him, I can be rid of his overbearing presence?" I finished. "It makes sense, but how would I go about that? His every wish is to harm me, to 'put me in my place', as it were, and take over control of my body to make it do horrors unimaginable."

"I would feel the same if you had been trying to dispose of me for many a year," Lanyon admitted. "Perhaps he is just responding to your animosity, your distaste of him with his own."

"Perhaps…" I rested my head against the door, thinking. "Thank you, dear friend. You have been most helpful."

"Does this mean you'll be rejoining society?" Lanyon asked.

"Not yet, but soon."

He huffed, but took it as all he was getting. "Very well. Good day, Henry."

"And you, Hastie."

As soon as I heard his footsteps fade, I pushed myself to my feet and went to the chemistry table strewn with supplies. I cleaned it off quietly, still deep in thought. Mixing together a concoction of different chemicals, I held it up to the light and watched as the rich amber liquid inside swirled around, changing before my eyes to a pale grey.

I carried it with me to the small cot set up in the corner of the cabinet and sat down. I watched the liquid, still thinking, still debating, and closed my eyes.

I downed the liquid and laid down, waiting for sleep to claim me again.


	5. Chapter 5

hello hello i am Trash

* * *

" _Oh, Henry~"_

I opened my eyes at the singing voice. Darkness swirled around me, writhing, but not touching. Far ahead of me, Edward Hyde stepped out of the shadows, long cloak whipping in a nonexistent wind. His eyes burned dark, a glinting merriment to them that chilled me to my core.

"So kind of you to finally seek me out," he crooned, stopping some dozen feet from me. He gave a little wave. "Hi!"

I clenched my fists and forced myself to calm down. I was so, so tired of this never-ending battle with my id. "Hello, Edward," I sighed.

"My my, someone's looking worse for wear. I hope that's my fault." He laughed, throwing his head back and baring teeth too sharp for his human visage.

"It's time to come home," I whispered.

This threw him off. He stopped laughing, staring with a mildly confused expression, then grinned again. "Ha! As if I'd want to go back to _that_ weak-willed mind of yours. I'm my own man now, Jekyll dear, and there's no stopping me!"

With that, he threw out his arms, sending a shockwave of energy that rippled across the space between us, quickly overcoming me and sending me flying through the darkness. I crashed into the dark ground, grimacing as I felt my arm twist uncomfortably under me.

I pushed myself to my feet and took a step towards Hyde, my counterpart, my other half. He growled, throwing another hand my way, sending another wave of energy that knocked me off my feet again. I bore it, rising yet again, and fury overtook his features.

"Stay down, you miserable whore!" he shouted, throwing me to my knees once more. He stepped back, backing away from me as I slowly inched my way forward. He sent a bolt of lightning, green with fire, arcing down my back and I shouted, rippling agony overtaking me but still I pushed forward.

Hyde growled low in his throat and raised a hand, lowering his head and focusing hard. I rose up off the floor and dropped suddenly, slamming hard into the ground. Pain lanced through my system but I gritted my teeth. I had a mission, and though I wasn't exactly sure on the details, I was determined to execute it.

I rose to my feet again, unsteady, wobbling, but alive, and stepped forward. Hyde was panting heavily as he rose his hands again, both of them, throwing me to the ground again and again. A wall appeared out of nowhere and I slammed into that, then another bolt of green lightning overtook my senses. Pain from every angle, nothing but bone-wrenching agony, but I bore it. I bore it all.

Finally, the onslaught of torture slowed to a stop. Hyde had fallen to his knees on the dark ground, spent. His breathing was beyond labored, and his head hung low. He giggled dementedly but did nothing.

I crawled towards him, my knees too weak to support me. The hard ground scraped against my injuries, through torn and ragged clothes. I dragged my body over to his, pulling myself as close as I dared, and touched his cheek.

He looked up, anger flaring in his eyes, but didn't do anything else. He was to weakened, had spent too much of his energy to harm me any more.

"It's time to come home," I whispered again.

He looked into my eyes, deep into them, and smiled. Tears began to stream down his face, and he laughed, though this time, without any form of malice. It was a genuine, gleeful laugh. Relieved. Happy.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

I embraced him, holding him close to my body, and he returned the gesture. I closed my eyes, and squeezed him tight.

I felt his body dissolve under mine, until I was holding onto air. I felt complete, almost, more so than I had for longer than I knew. I opened my eyes and the darkness around me faded to a light grey, bright but gloomy. Something wasn't right. I wasn't done yet.

A hand landed softly on my shoulder and I turned to see Joseph, my dear super-ego, kneeling behind me. He opened his arms in an offer, and I fell into them. He, too, dissolved into light, and the grey around us, or rather, me, lightened to blinding white.

I was complete again.

I was Henry Jekyll once more.


	6. Chapter 6

but i am trash that is done

* * *

 _From the Personal Journal of Dr. Henry Jekyll, March 14, 18-_

 _I woke up that morning feeling better than I had in ages. I felt younger, more lively, and more importantly, I felt complete._

 _I have much to do, so I will keep this short and sweet, and leave you with naught but this message:_

 _To truly be rid of your evils, you must embrace them as part of who you are. You cannot destroy a part of yourself without destroying everything you are. You must accept yourself as one person, one whole, with all its flaws and imperfections, to truly live as a human in this universe of ours._

 _Edward Hyde was a distasteful part of me, but he was a part of me nonetheless, and I did not see that. I saw him as everything I am that is hated, that is hatred. I wished to remove him so that I could be pure. What I did not know is that true purity is impossible. I will always have faults, and separating them from myself is doing the world and me a disservice. I had to accept Hyde for who he was, for who I am, to cure myself of this affliction I inflicted upon myself. And that was one of the hardest things I have ever done._

 _For anyone reading, here and now or in the far-flung future, remember my mistakes, and never make the same ones. It has ruined a good portion of my life, and given me nightmares for which I will never heal from. I accept this as my fault; not Hyde's, not some other third party, but my own, for allowing my hubris to overcome me._

 _Never make my mistakes, and you will live a long and happy life._

 _Good night._


End file.
